I have never really gotten the point of bloggers (meaning blogs and people who blog) until today. Well, sort of.
It’s a big world we live in. There are… 6,666,458,250 people accounted for on this here Earth at this very moment (by the US gov’t: Population Count) on this big/small planet we share. 6.6-billion people. I cannot even begin to fathom just how small one little 21-year old Ben is in that sea of people. One person in 1 family in 1 little neighborhood in 1 little city in 1 little state in 1 pretty big country in 1 humongous world.
So what am I doing spending a few minutes of my ever so precious life on a blog? Well, to be honest, I am not quite sure but that is what this is here for, right? I’m not quite sure who will even discover this. It seems like it is this little island amidst the Pacific, pre-NASA, pre-Google Earth. A little island on a somewhat charted planet. Will these entries even be read? I don’t know if that is even the point of this.
In early January, I began writing random entries into a sort of faux journal. It was right after the end of a 3 1/2 year relationship and a 2 week mini fling. Needless to say, I was feeling just a tad emo and have been contemplating life-as-I-know-it for months now. The entries started off as free-writes but they quickly became a little itty-bitty look into my somewhat-subconscious. Things would just sort of flow onto the paper that I wasn’t really expecting…
I guess I’m just looking for another medium to communicate with that ever illusive side of me in which I can only seem to get ahold of a few times a year. And, like most bloggers, I guess I just want to be heard. I want to be heard (but by a third-party unrelated to my life at all).
Welcome to my blog.
Life. Obstacles. Love. Distractions.
I fill my life with music, interests, hobbies, and other things to keep me busy. Get ready to hear a lot about the life of a single guy, a car guy, a novice biker in way over his head, a person with way too expensive of hobbies, a hopeless romantic, a man with crushes on girls he probably won’t act upon.
Today is the beginning of my blog and the beginning to a lot of other things.
Life is moving at me pretty fast.
I made a pretty big life decision last week and I am having a bit of an inner struggle with myself. You will definitely hear about this, just trust me. I might have a change in lifestyle, a change in scenery, and a change in my norm. But that’s life, right? Sometimes you have got to just kind of get up and get things done.
School definitely isn’t going that way for me. I’m 21 and have been in college for three years now but with no end in sight. I have at least another 3 years of school ahead of me and I cannot concentrate on just school. My personality just will not allow it. My brain just will not allow it. Distractions. I believe that most people I know think that I am somewhat close to graduating and a somewhat good student. I will tell you, oh wise third-party audience, that I am neither. I have my bouts with being an amazing student and being a huge slacker.
I have been extremely intellectually active as of late but completely contrary to my schoolwork. I really should drop my classes. I’m kind of on the brink of that but I know multiple people who would be quite disappointed.
(As you can probably tell, there is a huge box of tangled wires to be found inside the brain which powers these fingers’ keystrokes)
Well, till another day, I feel I could rant on and on about this forevers!
(soundtracks to this blog entry: The New Amsterdams “At the Foot of My Rival,” Emiliana Torrini “Fisherman’s Woman,” The Album Leaf “In A Safe Place,” Thrice “The Alchemy Index Vol 3: Air”)
